My Valentine's Day!

The subject is quiet old from his student days he said, but one that is too dear to his heart. And, I guess none of us could deny its importance as we have always been looking towards it at times of both joy and pain. As crying babies we used to seek our parent’s shoulders…as youngsters we seek friends… as grown ups we look for lovers….and as adults we look for self-reliance……and the list is endless till we finally seek God.

For the painter, the word got a prominent place in his life from the day his college sweetheart’s dad asked him what’s he got to take his daughter along in life’s journey. He didn’t say what his answer was but one could imagine that it couldn’t have been anything but “hope”. Hoping for togetherness and hoping like in the Eagle’s number that when they are hungry…. Just love will keep them alive.

But than daddy dear was not talking nonsense, shelter is really important; it’s a kind of a passport that one must have before taking any major step in life. “No one is ever too big to need protection”, says one ad line. And, while some turns to insurance or other financial options for people like me it’s the shelter of somebody’s love. A special someone, that one could trust with all their crazy-little secrets & whom we know would be our alley no matter what goes on with life. My own search for such a person began with running around in college…..mails….cards….gifts…..and heartbreak!

Than someone said that God planes everything even before we are born, we just have to keep the faith & wait. I waited and suddenly one day met this wonderful person who is not like anyone that I have ever met. And for the first time strongly felt that I didn’t want to rush in to the relationship. So I gave time & space to my thoughts.

Still at times I wish that she were near me. Some why I feel that she is the person I could go to when in any kind of tricky situation. I want to believe that once I am near her, somehow I will be strong once more. I want to believe that anything that confuses me would become clear once I talk to her. I want to believe that she would understand the things that I feel so strongly about.

Yet I hold back, keeping my thoughts just to my thoughts as to take one step further I need something that I don’t have. That is “shelter” and a financial one for the matter!

So this Valentine while some of you will take the step, I guess I will just listen to “When somebody loves you…there’s nothing you can’t do”.

- By Santanu Buragohain