Boys will be boys!

A short pause and the old chap slowly turns with quiet an effort. The lady’s sight turns his face into full bloom! The last part of the ad-line ends with “Almost!” Was the chap thinking of com’on baby light my fire as he smiled? Nope… it’s just all-boys stuff of appreciating beauty that never really says goodbye. It’s their true soul mate actually…. or the little devil inside them.

The boys definitely would not mind listening to Madonna’s power of goodbye. But when it comes to girls it’s a never-say-no situation. The male heart is always on the go…Age no bar. Even if they ain’t got any natural resources to start the fire within, they presume it to be a win-win situation even with just a look. Yes just a look…. Here’s one hard-to-miss real life incident that a friend of mine experienced.

A typical rush-hour morning bus in Delhi…everyone was still a bit sleepy. In one stop a girl with a short top and a low waist-lined jeans walks in. It was not her lucky day as all the seats were occupied. So she just went to the front side and stood holding on to the bar on the roof. Something happened the very next moment. The tired sleepy look of all the male passengers, from the schoolboy to big daddy suddenly vanished. Well somehow the young lady’s innerwear became visible on the backside. And voila…..what a magnificent sight for the “hard-working” Delhiwallah. And, now the old boys even have Viagra as comrade-in-arms….so there’s no stopping them it seems.

It’s not that only Delhiwallas would reach seventh heaven in such situations. It could have happened to any damn male in this planet unless the other person on his bed is another male. Dig this one, most households still own an old TV set that offer between 10 to 15 channels. Go to any town with a cable operator and you are sure to find that not CNN or BBC but FTV is within this 1 to 15 limit. Do I need to say why? One report said that subscribers in UP won’t pay their bills unless FTV was part of the package.

All right…all right. Lets talk about the “sweet part” of this fatal but natal dis-order. For the lady readers out there I don’t have much insight on your mind. This is going to be a tooo…taaaaally male thing but with a fe-male connection. So I guess you will enjoy the next few jottings anyway.

Now is it really a dis-order? I mean had it been a dis-order than we would have seen and be part of many of the jungle like scenes aired on Discovery and National Geographic in the city streets itself. Oh….just imagine fight for supremacy in front of every girls school and college. Thank all up in the heaven that it’s not this bad at least. So definitely its not a dis-order but just a…yes just a fraction of a part of something that is done in a orderly manner.

So we can safely presume that when Michael Learns to Rock blasted the charts with someday someway together we will be baby…it was only orderly romance they were talking about. It was togetherness of two souls, not two bodies in bed. But who knows what their fans made of it? Now if we discuss the soul part only, oh… who won’t like to have a woman in their life!

In one of the Lakme ad this young boy is shown running from school and wait at a street corner for a glimpse of an apple-eyed yummy young thing! Just see the way this guy smiles as the girl appear. And how he stands still as if the moment is forever as the apple’s lips touch his face. If this magical thing starts so early, just imagine…Maybe that’s why boys are running around all the time…..searching for that special moment. That first sighting…first meeting…..and so on. Restless all the time.

It’s easier for the female of the species it seems, as they just have to look and act smart while the boys do most of the hard work. With gifts, sweet words and their egos. While the girls get the time to carefully choose from the wild-wild bunch. The restless lot just keeps on running in the racecourse of whatever to attract a good keeper. And, the keepers or the girls always return to their stable with the best horse even if they have to wait! They also don’t mind taking along an extra few for different events though. But mind it, all of them keeps the best separately for the most prestigious event. Well don’t they?

As for the runners, they don’t seem to mind much as long as the rider is a woman. Time is not the matter but gender is. That’s why to sell a bike, especially in India the Japs must offer quick pick-up as well as very very strong brakes. The other party at the same time keeps on their scrutiny of all the road-runners, before deciding on who would be the best for the next ride. And the search and shift goes on…..and on….and on….just like a bike’s gear.

On the boys part some fell the ride turned tide destroy their beautiful castle at some point of time. There are exceptions though where it’s the girls who are really taken for a ride. Let’s not waste time and space discussing numbers. None of us leave the house without looking at the mirror and spraying an alluring dose or colouring those ever inviting lips. While one party pumps iron to build muscles the other is obsessed about reducing their waistline. Why on earth we do all this? It’s not just health consciousness I guess.

I don’t exactly remember since when mom didn’t have to call me anymore to comb my hair. But why I started doing it myself is obvious to me today as all of you out there. And if age finally brought an end to this lovely game between the sexes than we wouldn’t have had Godrej hair dye or anti-wrinkle cream either.

So the old man in the Chivas Regal ad turning to look at the sweet young thing and grin could be anyone of us a few decades from now. The only unanswered question is what will our playmates do as grand old ladies? Well just like “Agaar Rupa ki baniyaan pehnogi to Rupa kya pehnegi” ad-line I will just leave the exploration of this part to the readers.

- by SANTANU BURAGOHAIN